in this life

2011-05-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO UNISIM.

Dear Ms SHAZAWANI BEGUM BINTI ABDUL KARIM

Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you admission to the SIM University (UniSIM) for the BAPYS - BA Psychology with Sociology Programme 2011/07 Intake.

YAY. finally.
good to know, that slowly but surely everything is falling into place(:

2011-03-11T02:13:00.000-08:00

i cannot express how much i feel that
i am so very lucky to be a part in NorthLight school.
its amazing to be doing what i am doing,
and i am thankful to have many amazing people in my life, especially at work.

2011-02-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

You may feel some conflicting emotions about your group of people
some of these folks are taking on annoying habits
or getting involved with annoying people.

Right now it might be wise to give them some space
to go off in their own directions -- and then come right back when they realize you might not necessarily follow them down their new path.

Stay who you are, but get ready for other people to change.

2011-02-22T17:20:00.001-08:00

should have known better.

maybe sometimes people dont need your help.
and maybe sometimes, you shouldnt worry so much.
your friends, most likely know what they are doing.

i've come to realise that,
maybe your friends are older now,
and they have to make their own set of mistakes
and learn from it.
and honestly, personally i dont think you'll learn from it till you experience it.

change is inevitable.
& its not right for me to want you to be e way you were many years ago.
that shouldnt happen either. you must change.
at least, if you have to hopefully it'll be for the better.
but then again, we learn from our mistakes.

circumstances.your environment.e people you meet.situations. your personality. your priorities. your personal take on life. your opinions. etc
all of that, will change and cause you to change.

but for a very long time,
and i used to think i was alone who thought this way
but i used to think that moral values shouldnt.
unless for the better.
but then again, thats my opinion.
yes, we all have different varying views.

and yes, it does hurt me.
when i see ppl close to my heart, do silly things.
but then again, its for them to learn.
self-discovery is a life-long process.

you should make those mistakes,
and not regret.
yes i will make mistakes, learn from it and move on.
everyone has to make their own set of mistakes i guess.

whats right for me,
may not be right to you.
subjective.
& what values matter to me,
may not to you.

what may have used to make you happy five years ago,
may not be the same things that make you happy today.

so what is honestly bothering me?
maybe, its cause i just want to be there when things come falling down for you.
and that i cant.
and maybe i feel only i can be there to help you out, cause maybe i feel its those that are currently in your life that has created the mess for you.
but then again, who am i to worry this much.

i was just a friend.

2011-02-08T20:33:00.001-08:00

dont open doors you are not ready to enter.

what does this mean to you?

2011-02-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

Snapshot Report
Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 143
Subscale percentile = 99.79

143
According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is excellent. People who score like you do feel that they have almost no trouble understanding and dealing with their own emotions and those of others.

They have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are able to control their moods.

It’s easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons.

They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy.

They also report having an easy time offering support to others; this is likely due to an empathetic nature and a clear mind when it comes to offering good advice.

2011-02-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

let me see you through
cause i've seen the dark side too

2011-01-31T00:40:00.000-08:00

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

2010-09-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

i wish i knew what to do.

2010-02-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes delayed satisfaction is more fulfilling
than instant gratification.

2010-01-26T08:57:00.000-08:00

dont worry ok, you'll be home soon(:

2010-01-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

if you knew your potential to feel good,
you will ask noone to be different
so that you can feel good.
- Esther Hicks
the teachings of abraham

2010-01-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

your current state of affairs is not you.
the way your life is now, does not reflect you.

you have the choice to live the life you want.
you're the masterpiece of your life.

potentials. waiting to be unleashed.

i will make it big one day. i know. hahahahahhaha.

2010-01-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

1)Know that it is okay to cry. In fact it's brilliant to cry.
2)When you're feeling constructive, examine what had happened, and ask yourself why.
3)Dont rethink your decision
4)Keep your space
5)Accept your pain
6)Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively
7)Deal with the 'hate phase'
8)Talk to your friends
9)Write all your feelings down
10)Make a list to keep you honest
11)Get organised, clean up
12)Keep fond memories, discard painful ones
15)Let go

2010-01-21T09:06:00.000-08:00

and sometimes when my life becomes public affair,
it gets scary.
its happen a couple of times before.
and changed my urls countless times, made the blog private.
not trying to seem like some celebrity all, but honestly you people just make me feel like one. spying on me.
stop it. really.
it just honestly reflects the very fact that you may just not have a life.
or any other more productive thing to do.
but who am i to say right?
i have wasted so much time on useless people/things...

i dont know if there's anything complimenting about it.
but knowing that there are people who just love to nose around,
informing people of maybe an MP3 i got for my birthday etc?

just be happy with the new life you're creating with my ex-boyfriend
and leave me alone.
cause i dont think i'd ever want to see your face.
but if i had to, i'd be nice.

2010-01-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

and when i'm so tired,
e things you say, you're driving me away.

2009-11-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU(:
naish navin samson.

2009-11-21T05:20:00.000-08:00

You're a natural diplomat.
That's why you get along with everyone from every group.
Cherish this ability -- it's a rare one.

Not everyone can hang out with the jocks in the morning and party with the hetians later in the evening.

2009-11-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

THANK YOU(:

2009-11-18T08:44:00.000-08:00

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
I never needed you for judgements

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words, I never needed hurt
I never needed you to be there every day

I don't know why you think you gotta hold on me

And it's a little late for conversations
There isn't anything for you to say

I'm sorry for the way I let go
On everything I wanted when you came along

I know next to you is not where I belong

2009-11-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing is wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sun set in your eyes

2009-11-17T08:16:00.000-08:00

There you are, in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love

2009-11-17T07:31:00.000-08:00

i dont know why i attract the psychos.
or why i turn good guys into one.

i thank shree for being by me tonight.
and pravin.

2009-10-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

looking back
what a turbulent love affair that was.

2009-10-06T01:56:00.001-07:00

shaza

1. A very beautiful and sexy female.
2. Beautiful smile and laughter
3. Graceful; full of beauty, inside and out.
4. A female who is often very sizziling in her temperment, termed as "too hot to handle"
"I want to marry her, she is so Shaza"

Man 1: "My girlfriend is so Shaza..."
Man 2: "Your so lucky!"
Man 1: "Yeah but she is also too hot to handle"
Man 2: "ohhh... you got the complete package of shaza"

courtesy of luqman for giving the link
www.urbandictionary.com

2009-10-05T02:38:00.000-07:00

and the sun was wondering if it should
stay away for a day.

my dearest annae has left to paris.
i hope all goes well for him.
i guess now its my time, to step up(:

attempt something new(:
you're craving for a change

2009-10-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

2009-10-04T02:31:00.000-07:00

You could be feeling like you're
in the grip of a whole bunch of really selfish impulses.
Maybe you are.
The question is, is this a bad thing?

The answer could be: Not entirely.
Sometimes you need to take care of your own issues
before you can help anybody else.
On the other hand, out-and-out selfishness is not optimal.
So take a closer look.

Where are you just taking care of your own, legitimate, important needs?
Those are places where you aren't being selfish: You're being responsible.

in conclusion, he is probably mistaken and naive.
for once, someone more naive than i am.
i am not selfish.

i dont like people altering my plans and telling me what to do.
if thats how a relationship should be, then i'm not ready for one.

2009-10-02T02:53:00.001-07:00

my brother's leaving to paris this sunday.
its going to be hard for me.
but i will have to take it, like a big girl(:

& now, i'll be the big sister at home to shahira.

2009-09-30T03:17:00.000-07:00

all i need right now, is just a friend.
do you want to be a friend?

sometimes i wonder how strong my mum can be.
so admirable.

everything will get better(:
all you need is just some time to handle it on your own.
its only YOU who can make urself feel better.

there's a hero,
if you look inside your heart
so when you feel like hope is gone,
just look inside and be strong

2009-09-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

its my 20th birthday and i am so thankful for everything i have(:

i am definitely blessed with amazing people in my life
& i hope it continues.

this morning, i had one big heart attack.
shree and sharon in my room, with a cake and singing, while i am sleeepin!
one of the totally shocking suprises, when i was looking like a babi.
should i have known, i would have slept with a nicer top. ahhaha(:
thank you much shree and sharon!
e sweetest part was them, waking up at 630 to take the bus and come over.
super touching. very touched.

last night, ANAND&friends came to suprise.
with magnum ice cream, cause no more cake shop open! hahaha
this one also another shocker. cause i didnt expect him too!
veyr nice of them. though i know his friends prob were forced! hahah
thank you so much anand, his lovely gf and his friends(:

i received, super nice, heartfelt text msgs from luqman and ash(:
luqman, thank you for that text.
meant alot. very nice of you. thank you for always being a friend.
& ALWAYS being there(: always keep in touch.

ash, your msg was super duper duper long.
prob saved it in ur drafts and send it to every other girl or soemthing! haha
kidding. it was a very nice text msg.truly, considering the fact that we just recently got to know each other!and have yet to really meeet! ahahha
thank you ash

MAVIS NG(((:
sent a text all e way from AUSTRALIA. so sweeet of you man!
hahah. i woke up, before the shree and sharon suprise, SMILING when i read,
"guess who i am? the one who love playing with ur funny bone!" ahhaha
instantly, i knew! hahaha
love you man(: so much la mavis. hahaha.

and my little sister's msg so touching la!
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY:) you are e best sister ever. if u were not there to guide me through, who knows what i will be today. haha;) i love you so much;) thanks for everything you have done for me! YOU ROCK;) HAPPY BIRTHDAY shazawani akka ;)
love shahira"
touching ah. hahah.shahira kiram. i love you la.

thank you for all the text msgs, calls, facebook msgs, emails(:
THANK YOU TO
mavis, vinod, savrina, samirah, paris (yan ling), thinesh, sanam, shankari, brinda akka, harminder, salihin, azlan, shree, farook, aunty chitra, suha, indren, Amala, Mala, louissa, vithya, naish, ash, uma, harresh, uncle ramu, liwen, ghazali, benazir, babu, idreez, kishaan, ramesh, vicknas, susanne, anand&friends, nantha, manshya, viki, viswanath, Thishalini, Shangari, zahra mustan, ameer malik, neera,anjana, sajetah, sathish shawn, haresh venga, shanky, Deej, vinod(braids), syarifah, iffah, nurmalah, sajui, kani das, cara loh, vishnu, ashraf, iskhandar talib, Hafizd afro, trishna, Hafiz mohamad, Amrit, philip, wahida, kishaan, jaseema begum, erywn, NAUFAL, rahman, pratip, maria, maha&sudesh, khanthan, nadhirah, suganti, pravin, jananee, sunita, kavita, miss zeelia, kabilan, shalini, illyasa, JABA, jana, janet andrew, sumitha, sathia, justin john, hemalini, madhavan charles, rachelle paul,keerthana, rishi, vicknesh, seema, hassan, darrel, Nur stelfa, sindhu achudan, Bhairavi Manimaran, feros shah, Banu Sara, Eswari, Melissa Alex, Nirmal Raj, Sandhya Perumal, Gagendran Nair, rugaiyah, Nabil kapadia, Iyswariya, Saras, Gowri, Sathia Dimple, Angela, p.vicky, Raymond, Luqman hakeem, nithin, shangeeta, cute, prasath, narash, ONG JIN WEN.

& MY FAMILY.
my mummy.my akka.my anna.my shahira. my daddy(:

to vinod, for planning the other suprise at the chalet with my mummy.
together with vithya, louissa, and joel(: thank you!
vinod, the cake you bought the night, super duper nice!!!!!!!
thank you.

my office stuff got me a cake(:
and sang me e birthday song. hahahha.

so veyr nice of them. though initially damn shy and embarrassing all.
work is good(:

my 20th ended with my meet-up with louissa and vithya(:
at esplanade(:
it was nice just talking. and relaxing.
the best part was the singing song part. hahaha!
it was e most creative, interesting birthday song with remix, variations and beat box sound effects all. ahhaha
love you bth. hahha.

my morning started with two lovely ladies,
and ended wit another two lovely ladies.
i love all of you very much.

thank you so for my 20th a sweeet and simple event(:
nothing more i could have asked for.
i am honestly a vyer lucky person.
and i cherish and appreciate all that i have.
all e amazing people in my life.

2009-09-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

2009-09-29T02:02:00.000-07:00

i wanted to write out the birthday msgs i got.
some of the meaningful ones.
but decided to type it all out instead(:
so that i can always look back and read them(: hahhaha.

but i am not sure if i will publish this post, or i wont

Louissa
shaz, in case i cannot tahan and fall asleep, let me be safe and wish u first.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! hahaha i love you loads. Have a great great day 2mr!
God Bless You(:

thinesh
-please read this msg at midnight.
see. wont listen to me right. i'm afraid i'll sleep. so just in case,
happy birthday girl.

Anand
Happy Birthday Shaza begum. haha. you have been a good but useless friend all this while. haha. enjoy this day. take care and keep smiling.
cause of the smile i wanted to know you(: love you my friend. once again,
happy birthday.

Arvin Ash
Yeaup. what can i say? Im friendly:) haha and yes, you're a diamond la mike.
the first girl i met that talks more than me,
the first girl i met that laughs more than me,
the first girl i met thats more irritating than me,
And the only girl, i'll meet with a smile weirder than me. You're for some strange reason hot,and for some strange reason cool. You've got the formal side on the outside as a disguise, even though its obvious that deep within its makkal that lies.
You're full of funny dialoge, crazy quotes and pick up lines, all of which you probably chuuri from the internet and from all the roadside romeos that recite them to you at chijmes haha. And and you got that sabertooth smile that leaves a mark for way more than a while. you dance really well, after watching 8 facebook videos i guess its too obvious to tell. anyway of i carry on bragging abt you and measure down the time it took, it would be enough time to write a book. so i guess i should end it here, pick up my beer, and offer a toast to you, happy birthday(:
it was a pleasure knowing you. perhaps if there was a flaw in you, it'll be that usually you're way toooo busy to find a way to sms me. i'll but you 4D the day you tell me you are finally free;) hahah

Mavis Ng
Hey shaza! guess who is tis? hehe. Someone who always disturb ur funny bone in pri sch! hah, anyway, happy birthday and have a gd day(: caht soon ok.

sharon
you are one of the most beautiful friend i have gotten. in heart and in appearence. e day i met you we wasnt that close at all. time went by and we became closer and i have never once regreted knwing ya...(:
happpy birthday shaza za za za! haf a great day ahead! stop laughing at e phone....hahaha

sanam
hello my darling, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY! i wish you all e happiness in the world and i pray that you're always smiling. and dont ever change the person you r ok? cos ure such an amazing person and i treasure our friendship though we dont speak on a daily basis or meet often, you know you hold a great importance in my life. of cos lahhh,
6 yrs old to now. AIyah love u ah. happpy bday again. mwah, i love you.

Luqman
happy 20th in advance. you'll prbly be swamped with texts & calls tmr, so i thought i'd wish u tday instead.
may all your tmrs be filed with love and happiness. you've beenan awesome friend, th best a guy could ask for. i basically love you, in every sense of the word but you already know that(: and if you've noticed i haven't got you anything for your pass 2b'days. well i have my reasons. enjoy your day zawani. i'll see you sooon(:
and sorry for the super duper long text. haha
love,
your english speaking luqman(:

2009-09-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

i dreamt of micheal jackson last night.
and the dream seemed so real!
hahah.
& it must have beeen because i heard his song last, before turnin in(:

2009-09-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

All my life I've made excuses
Pushing you away, saying that you're not for me

You've been trying to get with me for a while
And I've been telling you to save that for another day

So the more you're good to me
The more I try to get you to leave

In the end, in the end it was you

2009-09-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
-homer simpsons

hahahahahaha.

2009-09-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

e one thing i love abt fasting month.
breaking fast together, with the family(:
& all the different food on e table.

2009-09-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

& i got my first birthday present(:
hahahaha.
a pretty pretty touch screen MP3.

THANK YOU VINOD(:

2009-09-12T21:49:00.001-07:00

and whoever that lily love is.
idontlikeyou.

2009-09-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

trying hard not to hear but they talk too loud
their piercing sounds fill my ears try to fill me with doubt.

i was reading oprah's biography.
very inspirational.
i love her alot la. admirable.
hahahah! i want to be like her. so influential
and charismatic(: and amazing!
hahhahaha. really interesting i tell you.
& most imptly, how could i forget this,
SHE IS SO ENTERTAINING and SMART.

oh and did you know, her name was actually orpah.
if you interested to know more, call me.
and we can talk all day long just abt oprah(:

but i dont care what they say, i'm in love with you.

2009-09-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

SUBWAY
LONG JOHN'S SILVERS
NICE CHOCOLATE CAKE
GARLIC NAAN
IKAN PARI(STING RAY) WITH RICE&KANG KONG
HERSHEY'S PIE
FILET O FISH
NUGGETS
WHIPPED POTATO
PASTA
CANADIAN PIZZA
M&Ms
MALTESERS
CHICKEN RICE
SUGAR CANE JUICE
PIZZA HUT'S BBQ CHICKEN
NASI PADANG
FISH&CO
STICKY CHEWY CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM
STARBUCKS
CARAMEL FRAPPE
CHOCOLATE CREAM CHIP WITH RASPBERRY
MORE CAKES-CHOCOLATE CAKES
MUSHROOM SOUP
KFC

about 4 hours left to break fast.
and yippie yay.
3 weeks have passed!

2009-09-11T00:08:00.000-07:00

Don't stay because you think "it will get better".
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
-sex in the city

and they say,
stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that isnt meant to be.

2009-09-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

& omg. i should stop spoiling my own suprises.
i did it last year. and i could be doing it again this year!
i will not go near my mother's hp from today onwards!

2009-09-10T21:55:00.000-07:00

Why did I break up with him?
Well ,it's like, once I sat down and looked at the situation,
all the pieces lying on the floor, it just wasn't a puzzle anymore.
None of the pieces fit together.
And even if I tried really hard, the pieces,
well they were two different puzzles.
That's why I did it, he needs to understand that.

2009-09-07T21:36:00.001-07:00

I need to make mistakes
just to learn who I am

2009-09-07T06:53:00.001-07:00

There's always something more you wish he'd say

2009-09-07T00:52:00.000-07:00

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along

& so updates abt the weekend.
knowing myself. i should have predicted this.
i did go for both. to make them both happy.

and i am glad i went for maha's 21st instead
and dropped by for 10 mins at e other one, jst to say hello!
however, it was upsetting to see arwin.
&how it seemed like we were strangers):
happens i guess. and i'll be fine(:

on a lighter note.
i think ramesh was e sweetest thing there.
and i appreciate his thoughtfullness.
thank you for everything ramesh.

maha's birthday was amazingly fun(:
and so was e dance floor.

went empire after that.
the night was(:
so, i'm glad i did go.

the weekend was a good one.
it ended with my sunday being spent at parkway,
McCafe with justin.
catching up before he enters NS on tuesday.
all e best to you, justin.

Fall, with you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

i hear timber calling for me.

2009-09-05T03:11:00.000-07:00

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

so there are 2 parties tonight.
i dont feel like going for any party tonight
emotionally-blackmailed into attending both):

tonight, i honestly dont feel like doing anything much.
i'd like to sit somewhere, with gd music with a stranger.
hahah only cause i dont feel like talking much.

to add on, i dont see/feel that those ard me would understand this.
i dont expect them too either(:

hahha. as emo as my entries may depict me,
i am actually totally fine(:

& so if i dont go for one, e parents will be unhappy,
and if i dont go for another one, he will be unhappy.

but if i go any of it, i will be unhappy.
i dont like e idea of faking my smiles.

& if i go there, i know i'd make things worst.
not as if, the last time when i forced myself to come for your b'day,
i made things so awkward.
hence jeopardising friendships.
coming tonight will definitely add on to it.
this time it prob wont be your friends anymore, but your family.
you'll prob never understand.
and i could go to make you happy.
but in e end, you wont be.

if i am feeling better i'd go.
tonight feels more of laid back, chill out night.

2009-09-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Unrealistic promises will only get you in trouble.

seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least;
and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage.

Because Libra enjoys balance in their lives,
they seek the middle ground.
In the process, they may end up trying to be everything to everyone.

2009-09-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

and so i cry when i get very angry.
my eyes are pretty red.
i'm in e office.
i wish 6pm will come sooon((:

ok lets think of pretty stuff.
get my mind of that fuckbag.

anyway i am ok already(:
hhahhahhahahaha
laters(:

2009-09-02T00:57:00.000-07:00

e more losers i meet,
e more i want to be better than them.

& e more i know i'll never want to be like them.

while there are more important things
going on ard in e world, and prob in your own lives,
some rather concentrate on e irrelevant details in their lives.

it makes no sense at all wanting to know
who/how the rumour got spread.
however it would make more sense to put an end to it.

worry is like a rocking chair.
it gives you something to do, but doesnt bring you anywhere.

hence in conclusion,
i do have to sympathize those who spend their precious time away
on ridiculous, pointless activities.

and i used to be warned that the particular racial group i'm in,
happened to be filled with dramatic, exagerated people,
who would tend to blow things out of proportion.
i wouldnt deny it. and i wont stereo-type either.

and countless time, its happened around/to me.
however i wouldnt want to run away from it,
just because i cant handle it.
thats pretty cowardly.
because i know i can handle it, and i will(:
& i'd totally stay for e fight. (fighter la me)

there are those who choose to be away from this drama,
but e more you move away from it,
the more it'd come. somehow, right?
or so i think.
but thats their own personal choice, which does have its pros(:
at least they have made the choice to how they want they life to be(:

anyway, past few days.
i have been blogging so much nonsense.
its e free time at work that's causing this!
& i just happen to have sooo much to rant.

2009-09-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

The past is history.
The future is a mystery
and this moment is a gift.
That is why this moment is called "the present".

2009-09-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

Relationships are like glass.
Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken
than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

i guess its all about knowing how to move on.
stop looking back at posibilities.
and dont feel sorry that you are most likely going to lose friend in the process.

i have come to realise that maybe truly,
it doesnt make much sense being friends with an ex.
but you could if you wanted to.
well as for me, i am not going to.
(or thats what i'd say, but knowing me. so i'll re-phrase)
i'll try not to.

as much as i have them to always be part of my life,
only cause of the incredible happy and sad, cherishable memories,
i think it is a very corrupted move.

it will be painful.
i cant stand it when others submit to pain and whine
being so negative about it
WAKE UP and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
—M. Kathleen Casey

this is caused by continual mental reasoning, and
e whole vicious cycle can be broken when
YOU LEARN HOW TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS.

i would admit that, i do look back and reminise.
and from past lessons, reminising is pointeless and
basically is
"ASKING FOR IT"
asking for you to feel hurt.

but then you should embrace all these.
you wouldnt want e past coming back.
because it will be like this one day,
"you thought you got over it well,
but e truth is, you just never thought of it"

brushing it to the side of you mind/heart
is awfully unhealthy.

on a lighter note,
i do feel better after ranting it all out(:

i am going to make my mind up,
and when i do i will stick by my decision and will not be swayed anymore.
i cannot be as soft-hearted anymore.

even if it means hurting you badly now,
ultimately for e better, i will do it.
only cause i truly cared and care.

2009-08-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

In any relationship in the early romantic stages
there's a danger that you're going to think
this is the best relationship you've ever had
and you'll want to commit too early.

Even though you may feel like this is the best relationship ever,
you're partner is perfect
and you'll never, ever feel any different,
just force yourself to take your time.

If your love for each other is real they will understand if you need to slow down a little.

2009-08-31T23:02:00.000-07:00

apparently experiencing and healing from a
broken relationship makes us more compassionate about
another person's pain.

emotional pain doesnt kill(:
its what you do to avoid that pain, that might kill YOU!

deal with the pain of the old relationship before entering a new one.
which is what i did, 4 years ago.
i took all e time i needed(:
however it did have its side effects.
i defnitely do not see certain things e same way as i used to
and its pretty redundant to go in depth and
talk abt it.hahaha.

and so, at first you date.
everything seems so pretty and lovely
and then you enter another phase of dating,
serious dating?
slowly he starts entering your life,
and then when you say yes,
THATS E END.
he enters your life and starts being e captain in your life.
which definitely does not apply to everyone.
and i am not generalising or being negative abt it,
there will defnitely be others who wont do that.

HOWEVER, what i am coming at is,
all of that, is normal.
and in fact, the person defnitely should have a say in your life
and there should eb compromise, communication etc.
as much as i may have made it seem like he'd rule your entire life,
when i said captain, its not that extreme.
and i am lazy to continue this point.
you should get it.

AND if you are not ready to do all of it,
DONT.

i have been thinking lately more than usual
about the choices i have made in life
and should be making
and will be making.

e last time i re-evaluated my life was after the whole stupid, dramatic 2006 i had.
and i guess its time for a re-evaluation of the re-evaluation.

i do know how i am talking quite abit of nonsense that
will never make sense to anyone else but myself
hahhahaa(:

someone once said
"if you truly love someone, set them free.
if they come back to you, they are for keeps
but if they dont, it means it was never yours to begin with"

i've heard this saying a couple of time in my life.
first from my mum, then OJW and etc.
and i truly believe in it.be it when applying to people,
or things.

2009-08-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to say "No" because I didn't want people to think I'm not nice.
And that, to me, has been the greatest lesson of my life:
to recognize that I am solely responsible for it,
and not trying to please other people,
and not living my life to please other people,
but doing what my heart says all the time.
Oprah Winfrey -

2009-08-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

In order to soar like an eagle, you must first leave the nest.

If you believe you cannot fly, then you will never try.

Know that for every problem there are many solutions.

Society spends much time fixated on the "right" career and the "perfect" car.
Shallow fixations with the "model" look have created havoc, especially among young women.

Look within and discover your innate beauty.
Find what warms your heart and ignites your passion.
Develop friendships with those who allow you to be yourself.

2009-08-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

shazawani begum.
i love you.
HAHAHAHA(:

2009-08-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

Walk the fine line between
blatant self-interest and complete altruism.

2009-08-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

someone told me that my blog entries have become pretty depressing and sad.
and oh god.
its quite true):

hahaha.
life is pretty and simple(:
so dont complicate it.

2009-07-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move

I kind of got to figure out what I need(:

ANYWAY
Your mind is on what you own and what you want to own.

It's so easy to hang on to things out of nostalgia or indifference,
but you are in the right mindset to get rid of stuff without experiencing any regrets.

i'd like to go shopping soon.
read magazines at galilee cafe.
change my hairstyle/colour.
run away from all the drama.
dance stupid steps all night long.
listen to a live band singing to awesome songs with great company.
walk in the sand with chan nurul nisa.
close my eyes and wake up to a room filled with all the material things i might need/want.
smile, laugh and crack stupid jokes.
make the everyone around me smile all day long.
open my purse and find a driving license with my name on it.
go back to 2002 when life was simpler.
watch all the lovely hindi movies back to back.

and i badly miss caramel and whipped cream at starbucks.
i want to become a better person each day.
and help those in my life, during the hard times.

2009-07-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

if you want my future,
forget my past.

if you want to be my lover,
you got to get with my friends.
make it last forever.
friendship never ends.

2009-07-11T01:15:00.000-07:00

Discover Your Birth Number
Shaza this is what your birth date reveals about you!

29 + 9 + 1989 = 2027
2 + 0 + 2 + 7 = 11
1 + 1 = 2
Your Birth Number :2
2’s are the born diplomats. They are aware of others’ needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don’t like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they’d rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

2009-07-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

OMG.
the last part of it. when paris talked
I CRIED. hahhaa
cannot take it already.
bloody sad.

anyway.
Rest in peace, michael jackson(:

and somehow, i think one chapter in my life may have come to an end.

2009-07-07T10:29:00.001-07:00

i am eagerly waiting to watch michael jackson's memorial.
but they are experiencing some technical difficulties):
no audio.
and i love CNN. i am watching it live, and the transmission is amazing(:
and the facebook chat collaberating with CNN is double amazing.
everyone is talking and voicing out their thoughts.

2009-06-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

yet again, the blog is calling for me ONLY when its time to do my work.

i am having this amazing conversation with prasath.
and i must say,
I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MET ALL THE LOVELY PEOPLE I HAVE MET IN MY LIFE.

prasath, thank you for failing all the modules you did.
cause we met.and became friends.

and so i said,
well i cant remember how i said/asked it.
(hahha i cant find the history of the conversation either)
but well.

it was somehting like
"where do you think we'll be at 5 yrs from now?
and will we still be hanging out?"

hahaha, then it got me thinking.
so exciting. i cant wait to see wht the future would bring.

I LOVE EVERYONE-my family, friends and myself.

i want to be able to call any of my friends up, 5 years from now
and just talk for hours! hahaha. just catching up
and talking as though we met only the day before.

life is going to bring us apart.
but i will make sure you are all just a call away(:

Live your life until love is found
cause loves gonna get you down.

2009-06-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

did the "who is your lifetime match quiz"
and the result was...........someone born between 22nd may and 21st june.
but the amazing part was what ia write, that seeemd so true):

"You're not prone to falling head over heels in love. However, you do find yourself falling in love, but slowly. Beforehand, you like to put your devoted admirer to the test. You need intellectual exchanges. To seduce you, this person best not be your average Joe and they will know how to get off the beaten track. And most importantly, they won't smother you. Very independent you are and you need your freedom to be happy. Before committing yourself, you reflect for a long time, which generally allows you to make the right decision. It's not easy to tie an you down... But it's a different matter with these kinds of people. You will find their intelligence and bubbly character attractive. You can speak about anything with them and are enriched by your contact with them. They respect your independent spirit because they are also obsessed with liberty. You don't feel like they enclose you in a cage. Quite the opposite, they help you to escape from routine. And in bed, all's good! You're both very imaginative and have a lot of fun together. "

oooooo sccaaryy. ahahha

2009-06-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

If you love something, set it free -- you've heard the saying. Well, you don't have to let go altogether, but clutching like crazy tends to be kind of a turn-off. Hold on loosely.

Try to grasp the entire picture.
Tunnel vision isn't desirable in this situation.

2009-06-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

i reached tuition late.yet again.
and on the board there was something written,
it went liiikkkkeeee this...
"I LOVE SHAZA AKKA!"
hahha. and then, she says
"akka i have a suprise for you. its something you love to eat,
chocolates"

i cannot believe how my tuition kid loves tuition.
sometimes i have to keep repeating to her that
i have lots of work to do and she has to leave.

2009-05-23T02:35:00.000-07:00

hahaha.
my tuition kid is really bloody cute.
you know, sometimes, well most of the time,
i dread waking up to go for tuition.
but each time upon reaching tuition, i feel so happy.
she performs for me. dances and sings.
but i get quite scary when i teach maths,
and today she almost cried. SCARY.
hahahha

i want to go al ameeen.
simpang bedok.
east caost park.

2009-05-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

An affirmation for you would be:
A lift of joy in the times of trouble

The word of wit when we’re weighted down
the lift of humor when we’re heavyhearted
The ray of hope to blow away our black clouds
The enthusiasm and energy to start over and over again
The creativity to charm and color a drab day
the simplicity of a child in a complex situation

i fell for his stupid trap.

take me away,
to better days.

You know what they say:
If you love something, set it free ... And right now, if you like someone, let them be -- who they are, on their own terms. This is the way to find out whether it's a real match.

2009-05-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

& everyone told her,
"you got to know what you want!"
well. 2 of her friends la.

SHAZAWANI BEGUM.
YOU NEED TO BUCK UP.
all your school work is going to snow ball.

i need starbucks.
caramel and whipped cream.
and the bestfriends,
who are totally angry with me not spending time with them.

can july just come now?
savrina. savrina.
you come back and i promise i will make it up to you.
definitely wont be like your last summer holidays.
i'll spend most of my time with you.
and i wish you were here everyday,
but thats been a wish since e longest time.
I MISSS YYOU. &LOVE YOU.
sorrry for not giving you e attention.
i know how mad you are at me. hahaha.
siglap is calling for us.
mas ayu wants us. hahha
so come back sunflower, blueberry lady of mine.
i want to stay over, and waake up with lontong your mum prepared(:
hahaha.
bake brownies. and sing song for nisa's birthday.
go running with you, cheering me on.
sports days and road runs were e best cause of you.
mother tongues period!- our chocolate eating times(:
hahaha. valentines' days. bedok long john silver.
looking back, and reminising(:

& i totally cant believe how i have been so invovled with my own life,
for the longest time, and neglected people and things that mean so much more.
i guess it really took me a year to realise this.
and its only in these self-reflection times when i do realise that,
i havent been who i am.
with you. nis.

oh god.
i swear i really miss you both now):
and the one amzing thing that i prob take advantage of is,
the fact that you and nis will always be there.
its pretty evident that when i do not seek advice from e two of you,
everything goes not too well.
hahha.
nis prob gives up la on the advices. she has her own way of giving advices.
hahhaha.

nis nisa.
chan nurul nisa.
hahahahaha(: its beeen forever since you came over with black forest chocolates and greeen tea,
and did nothing but talk while lying down.
going to mac. and coming back. and still talking.
you do the sweeetest things.
its annoying how, we are in the same bloody country but can hardly meeet.
and i know the reason for that.
so lets not rub it in.
hahhaha.

and nisa chan.
i would lve to meet ur bf sooon.

AND,
i want to walk on the beach
sing songs and talk to you.
i want to go starbucks and stone.
i want to read magazines all afetrnoon long,
while eating chicken chunks and potato wedges.
i want to go to kallang dragon boat center that area.
i would love to watch romantic hindi movies all day long.
i want to call every single person i lvoe and tell them "you mean alot to me"
i want to become e girl my younger sister will look up to-highly impossible though, hahahah.
i want to go bedok stadium.
i want to have the desire, determination and drive to work harder.
i want to be a better person.
i want to laugh till my stomach hurts.

i neeed to learn it e hard way.
i should be on my own for ahwile. even if i know its going to be bloody hard, i will.
i have to(:
its prob only then when you realise the things u need/want,
and perhaps the ppl ard you may understand you more.
i want to stop having the slightest hatred(too strong a word, prob dislike) towards boys.
i want shaza(:

i love shaza. hahahaha.
(sometimes we have to continuously say these things to ourselves.)

shaza will going off for awhile.
putting the pieces of her life in the correct places.
you can choose to be part of it.
and you could choose not to.
she'll understand(:
actually shaza will still be around la. hahhaha.

easy come, easy go.- prob doesnt apply for money only. but ppl tooo.

if i told you it was all meant to be.
would you believe me, or would you disagree?

2009-05-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

you entered my life unexpectedly.

the feeling was amazing.
i never felt this way for a long time.
the butterflies in the stomach. hahaha.
the smallest things that made me happy.

unexpected what you did to my heart.

your arms around me tight,
everything felt so right.
its been a while since i really felt this way.

would you catch me when i fall?
& when will you hold my hand again?

2009-05-17T02:03:00.000-07:00

Just say 'no' to anything new for the moment.
Usually you're not such a stick-in-the-mud,
but for right now you have enough to deal with.

Be very careful not to put the needs of other people ahead of your own right now.

i'd love to take a walk.
away from everything.

I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late

it defnitely isnt(:

2009-04-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

this blog is possibly one of the only avenues i have to express myself.
eversince, my laptop died its made it so much harder so me to blog,
and i havent been doing so.
as of such, i havent been as saint.

i do hope to continue blogging each day.
and i have said this so many times already, that my words do not hold water anymore.
so i am just going to show it through actions.

the past few chapters(months) in my life have not been updated in this blog.
and will try to summarize it soon.
alot of interesting events have occured in my life.
and the fact that till now, my blog is opened to invited guests,
who definitely do not come by to read this anymore,
i will once again open my blog up for everyone to read.
but the thing is, i dont think anyone will know that i have started to blog again.
hahha.

HOWEVER, i do have some reservations as to opening up my blog for public veiwing again.
but i guess. i will do so and when i get uncomfortable yet again, i will stop.
hahahhaha.
and if this blog understood my words and my feelings, i'd like to say

"dearest blog,
i have missed you so much. sorry for neglecting you):
thank you for sharing the chapters in my life with me so far, and holding all my memories together.

i love you, truly.
shazawani begum(: "

the funny thing is.
i havent only neglected this blog,
but myself also.
i havent been giving myself the time & space that i need for myself, alone.
as of such, i have lost the essence of shaza):

(hahah,the usage of my words are like so dramatically disgsuting)

2009-01-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

and i havent blogged since ten million light years ago.
eversince my laptop died, i havent had to mood to):

this is my first entry for 2009(:

i damn lazy to blog nw.
laters.

you have the power to create the life you desire

2008-11-02T11:05:00.000-08:00

& it just occured to me.
i didnt blog the entire month of october.

i miss you.
been far away for far too long):

2008-11-02T10:55:00.000-08:00

i havent blogged in so long.
only cause i've been awfully busy.
and maybe thats why i havent been as saint.

my blog is one of the only avenues i have to express
my thoughts and feelings.
extremely random, abstract, unthinkable thoughts.

and as usual, i'm only also blogging cause its the middle of the night and i am in the midst of doing my presentation slides.

there's so much i need to say to you.
so many reasons why.

Remember that the future is yours to determine!

There's nothing wrong with a stroll down
Memory Lane as long as you don't stay too long.
Don't use the past as an excuse to deal with the present.

2008-09-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

when those three words are used so easily.

2008-09-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

MY BROTHER BOUGHT ME THE PRETTIEST GUITAR EVER(((:
and about 1/4 ownership with shahira.
but as quoted from the brother
"predominently zawani's" hahahaha

ANYWAY.
i've always said how i want a guitar with my name on it.
now, somehow i dont want it.
its tooo pretty. i cant afford to take away its prettiness from any mishaps
that is definite to happen when i try to have my name on it somehow.

but well.
i damn happy la. very sweeet of him.
the previous guitar died about a year and a half ago,
BECAUSE OF SHAHIRA. hahaha.
and i have been wanting one eversince.
& now i have it. like finally.

and btw. not say i can play the guitar extremely well all.
not even well!

soft rock is definitely loved.
live bands. i neeed to seee/hear/admire/etc them.

holidays started.
fasting month is here.
and i am sick.
been feeling a little under the weather lately.
recovering.
so its good.

cannot wait to start baking(:
i think it'd be awesome to have friends over,
just to bake(:
just like old times(:
nis.sav.me.

2008-08-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

I WANT ishQ bector.

dearest friends of mine.
please find me a boy like the one in the video of the link given below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CydMwqaNL_4

thank you.
&i love you.

2008-08-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

2008-08-12T15:17:00.000-07:00

sometimes i find shahira(the younger sister) so interesting.
she is so very lost on her own world.
and she misplaces almost everything.
like this morning i woke her up, only cause i didnt sleep,
but well. i woke her up.
and she was walking around the hse for more than 15 mins just finding for her towel!

i will also not forget how she couldnt find her school books,
after only 2 weeks of her school holidays.

well, i hope i'll be able to guide her through life.
as much as i can.

2008-08-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

ONG JIN WEN GOT HIS LICENSE ALREADY)):

2008-08-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

i promise not to go to friendster and facebook til after the 22nd.
i will only go on msn if i miss my friends and i need to send/receieve files.
i will not go to anyother websites other than nyp.edu.sg, elearn
and search engines like yahoo and google ONLY if i am searching for something
module related.
or/& to blog. cause i totally need to express myself esp when i can do it with an physical being):
i will not talk on the phone more than 10 mins.
i promise to stop procastinating.
&
i promise to enjoy myself and sleep as much as i want after my exams.

shaz, you dont have much time.
stop wasting it.

Sometimes you like groups, occasionally you like to be alone, but right now you are at your absolute best going solo.

2008-08-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

I learnt the hard way
That they all say
Things you wanna hear

2008-08-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

its the simplest thing that brings a smile on my face,
sometimes.
like today, just receiving a text from nigel(:
I MISS YOU, MR.NIGEL AKA YAZID. & PARIS!
&secondary school seems so long ago.

the bestfriend has gone back.
the past few days before she left was just lovely.
spending time with frank, hasbi, nis and sav is just so close to perfect.
and nothing beats hanging out with friends who have known you
for so damn long. seeing you grow,change.
and i cant wait for the next summer holidays.

there are two months i eagerly anticipate every year.
july and september.
for very obvious reasons.
& the fact that those ppl who are reading this post are close friends,
who happened to be invited to read my blog entries,
you better know why.

i totally love zadeev.
savrina, we can trade brothers.

i want to upload so many pictures,
but i cant.

i want to go to
kallang.SDBA.bedok stadium.tanjong rhu.
and walk past all the lovely, damn pretty houses at tanjong rhu.
reminise a little. haha. or maybe more than a little):

&i need nis there with me.
so i can talk abt everything.
EVERYTHING.
and never have to look back again.
i want to lock everything behind me.
sooon(:

but all of my plans are on hold,
till after the 22nd.
i shall keep the flame burning(:

SHAZAWANI BEGUM BINTE ABDUL KARIM.
I LOVE YOU.ALOT. hahaha(:

i wanted to stay
cause i needed to hear you say,
i love you
i have loved you all along.

everything you hear, well most of it.
is filled with lies.deceit.fakeness.
be sure to filter it out.
everyone is going to say things they want you to hear.
and they are going to tell you all the nice things
about themselves, just to make an impression.
and it might all be fake.
or real.
WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
but there are nice people out there.
so i guess bottom line, dont judge anyone?
or dont judge anyone too quick?
or maybe,
YOU KNOW WHAT, i guess you will just now la.
if the person is plastic, you would just know.
if you dont, ask me.
i'll tell you.

&oh my god. i remember using that word plastic a long time ago.
hahhahaa.

however, who are we to say such things right?
noone.
so i guess, we just shouldnt care.
especially if it doesnt concern you.
but if it does, then do something.
anything.

and as i was reading through this entire entry again, i realise how,
some of the paragraphs just dont link):

2008-08-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

CONGRATS TO MY NYP MAKKALS(((:
ROCK ON, NYP ICG!

great job to
anjali. prasath. siva. both yoga. flow. shawn.
for taking back the 2nd PRIZE at the SP dance comp.
&thank you for everyone who helped out and supported.

2008-07-28T02:04:00.001-07:00

Every wonder why it's so hard to find your soul mate?
Your requirements for the perfect mate could be too dual natured,
making them impossible to meet.
You want a flirt who only has eyes for you. Or maybe a wild child with a stable income. Skip the contradictions.
& i can very much relate to that.

and i know its been awhile since i blogged.
its quite obvious that havent had much time for myself.
and that includes, not being able to spend time with savrina.
which isnt a good thing.

i have been quite a horrible bestfriend to savrina and nisa lately.
and hopefully they understand.
cause its times like this, when you really need them to understand.
which sometimes, i think they dont.i know.
i dont expect them too either.
BECAUSE
if i had a bestfriend like myself, i'd totally feel un-special.

the eve of nisa's birthday, at sav's house,
was all i really needed.
a good conversation with the 2 lovely ladies,
over instant noodles, savrina made.
& i definitely need more of it.
but sadly, eversince 2004, i've only had it once every year.

anyway, this is damn boring.
hahah. sorry)):

and sometimes, maybe for some of us, which might also include me,
the choices we make is definitely altered by many factors.
e.g other people's views,etc
howver i think its important that you
make sure you're following your heart and not the expectations you think people have for you.
BECAUSE, you just should. lazy to explain.

& there can be so much drama in your friend's lives. while
it's commendable to put yourself in someone else's shoes to feel their pain,
don't allow yourself to get sucked too deeply into their drama.

you can be there to guide, and help them out of it,
but do not get involved in it. there is a difference.

certain songs are super nostalgic.

& i am so thankful for all the lovely people in my life.
really. so very.
i've been lucky enough to meet really lovely people.
and i really want to give all of them something sooon.
i dont know why, but i truly feel so happy to know that i have met really
amazing ppl in my life.
and i hope it doesnt change.

however i do also know a handful of not so very lovely ppl.
well they are nice, but their habits and lifestyle,
not something i'd agree upon, perhaps.

Hope is the word to hold on to today -- no matter how unlikely success might seem
maybe not only today, but for the past 4 months and the months ahead(:

2008-07-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

LUNCH-TIME PERFORMANCE

2008-07-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

You are spreading yourself way too thin, socially speaking.
Reschedule a few things

its those times when you feel like there is so much things to do,
yet so little time.
and you have got to keep saying this to yourself,
"take one step at a time"
constantly reminding yourself to persevere.

and somehow,
when you are taking that last step,
you realise its only the beginning,
cause now, there is a lake infront of you.
and now you have to swim across):

hahahaha. get it?
well along those lines.
and please, i know you all know what i mean.
i hope.

& just so you know, i am reaching the lake in about 3 steps.

2008-07-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart

2008-06-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

SAVRINA IS BACK(:
suprises are loved.

2008-06-21T06:55:00.002-07:00

There's always something more you wish he'd say

2008-06-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

THE SISTER IS BACK((:

2008-06-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

14th june 2008.
a night to remember.

arena was rocking(:
going in a big grp was alot of fun(:
getting ready in shree's place was alot of fun((:

2008-06-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

SLEEPOVER.
shalini and shree slept at my place.
alot of fun.
bugis was awesome.
shalini and i vowed not to spend any money on food till after tmr night.
we were so tired and hungry and THIRSTY,
but we didnt complain much(:

haha.we cannot wait for tmr night(:

2008-06-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

i wanted you to stay
Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along

2008-06-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

CANDLE LIGHT DINNER WITH MR.PRAVIND((:

to commemorate pravind's birthday, i prepared a little dinner for him.
so all the cooking and setting up was well.
the thing that made the entire night lovlier,
was the conversation.
and i really wished vithya had joined us.
but oh well.
there's always another time(:

dinner was good. and after dinner pravind and i did alittle catching up.
it was raining so heavily.
and it was quite alot of fun walking in the rain((:

dearest pravind, i hope you enjoyed your night.
i hope the food was good.
sorry dessert slipped my mind):
i just hope you are happy(:

i love having my friends over at my place.
vinod and shankari came over((:

i have alot of projects to do))):
i want to go roller blading with chan nurul nisa.
i enjoy cooking.
there are certain things i dont talk about with anyone.
and its good that i have been talking about it out with someone.
and i hope everything goes well. and is for the better.
after all,everything happens for a reason.
& i believe in fate.
if something is urs, it will be.

when you get what you want but not what you need.

2008-06-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

HARD ROCK CAFE.

celebrating rilla's birthday with the girls.
it was a lovely night.
i am a sucker for live bands.
but it sucked cause i couldnt stay long)))):
hahhaha.

while walking back in town, walking pass
indochine was another live band.
singing, drops of jupiter(:
I LOVE LOVE IT((:

anyway. starbucks with shalini, vinod and shree yesterday was nice.
i miss my chocolate cream chip, raspberry frap.
and i love whipped cream and caramel(:
who doesnt.
hahhahah((:

Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you