i look a lil diff now with my hair high-lighted.. well i will get used to it eventually.. so then juz came home from starbucks.. with dillon.. yazid was there for a while.. then he left.. had lotsa fun with dillon.. we were talkin n talkin n talkin.. so seriously i did enjoy myself.yest watched a midnight movie with my mum n younger sis! was my treat!! watched harry potter.. sucha cool movie..
savrina, i toook a few photos will be showin them to u soon.. love u.. nisa u haven seen me u bitch! ahahah..

din sleep till like nine thirty in the morning.. been thinkin so much abt it. dunno why.. so like, went swimming n had dinner at pp banquet.. juz came back.. i have to get out o this vicious cycle.. must stop thinkin abt it... i think abt all thetime.. i mean.. have been waitin for Os to end all these while n now! well i noe i will get thru it.. saw a really nice swimming costume.. had a halter neck top.. hope to buy it soon.. ears hurt a lil..

so like juz came back n like have had lotsa fun today with goh yan ling.. we were at suntec.. met nadiah fala haadi n some guy.. oh yes yazid was there too.. was suppose to see christmas lighting but yan had to go home so afta eatin at long john's paya leBar we went home.. then like i was so fuckin scared when i came home coz i was alone.. was callin people so can like meet up.. called a my primary school bestie SHANKArI...
had a kick ass fun time.. was reminising bout the past laughin our asss off... damn fun.. well we were catchin up on the four years gap.. so like haven really catch up much.. so like she is damn cool la.. she had like her fingernails painted black!!! aahah my fav colour!! ahaha .. nice.. had fun.. met her sis n bro too.. will b goin out on wednesday with another fren too..

well.. hmm... cant wait.. gonna hang out with lotsa peeps soon...

so well, yesterday was the last paper for Os. went out with cara,yanling,yazid,samirah,yong meng n andrea. watched emily rose. fuckin scary.. cud not sleep had to sleep with my sista on the same bed.. was tossing n turning. kept waking up hoping it would be morning soon.. then finally at 7, mum came to my room.. n so i went with her to her room to sleep..
so well.. after the movie, we were walkin ard fer awhile.. then i had to meet my mum for my treat at delifrance.. so than was goin to go with samirah when yan wanted to follow.. so then she did.. andrea dropped us off at paya lebar. met my mum.. then went to tampines with yan, yazid, yongmeng ,mum , myself...
PIerCed my second n third earhole at 77th street.. was holding yan ling's hand so tightly... was damn fast.. well doesnt look tat nice la.. prob the earring s aint nice.. cant wait to change em. so then.. hmm.. have been so busy.. on msn.. chatting to many .. wrists hurt.. have been gettin lotsa calls.. the whole night n this morning.. cudnt sleep peacefully..
then at ard ten IN THE MORN ahaha nisa came over to put her art stuff at my hse then went for the jln raya.. n now.. i m goin shoppin!!! gonna buy lotsa clothes.. tmr yan, cara, manshya n i r goin to town .. hope to be there till late.. gonna see the christmas lightings...

savrina-blueberry/sunflower
nisa-bitchy... really bitchy!
yan ling-fun.. damn fun!
samirah-sacarsticly cool.. cool!
cara- gorgeous.. really!
yazid-metrosexual.. urban guy!
manshya- sweet.. nice body!
jelisa-so very pretty .. cute!
lynette huang- blady bully.. ahhah.. kind!!
feeza-corny!


all the gals mentioned above r damn pretty... n the guy.. cute!!

7:35 AM

Sunday, November 20, 2005 »

so what m i to do now? i aint sure... what do i want? what do i need? who do i love? what do i love? what do i dislike? who do i dislike? do i have everythin i need to move on? or m i missing sumthins behind? do i forget him? or do i still sit n reminise abt what happened between us? does he still care? do they still care? have i been a bitch?or have i been a saint? did i say all the wrong things? was it all wrong to feel the way i felt? have i been unappreciative? have i been cheated? is everything fine? or m i juz over-reacting? have i lost him for good? or they for good? do i deserve this? can i still srand strong? have the people ard me juz been mere figures of no significance? must i care abt what others think? then why does he? have i regretted all of this? do i feel like tellin all those losers how i feel in their god damn fuckin face? or by saying it i would juz be causing more pain n hurt to them? if frenz were like this do i need enemies? does my heartache? or m i dying of laughter? does popularity cause one to be lonely? or does it cause one to have lots of frenz? will my mistakes in the past haunt me? do i feel lonely now? or do i have all the people i need? r all the people ard me real or fake? and r all of what they r saying true or false? have they lied to me? have i been the thinkin too much......

9:40 AM

well... each time i m like abt to click on the contact n chat.... the person goes off line... damn.. unlucky... u see, i m so pissed wit certain ppl.. that soon i m gonna tell them each wats on my mind... i never hated them or spoke ill abt them.. but NOW... i m startin to coz of their paranoid-ness... dumb...

7:15 AM

Friday, November 18, 2005 »

nisa... this is for u!!!! juz wanna say.. though u have hated the guys that i was with or liked... thanks for not letting me go... ahahah... but still hey can u like not say bad stuffs bout themm... it hurts.. aahah... hurts me.., ahahah aint i sweet?? i care so much bout the ppl i like... darlin.. hmm... dat fuckin bitch.. argh!!! ahahh... well i think that name for the person.. too cool.. how bout.. dat bloody loser... ?? ahahah
bye!!

12:57 AM

okay, so well.. many things have happened.. ahahha.. hmm.. two days ago.. zameer,hafidz,hidayat,iskhandar,naufal,faisal and sum other guy(dunno his name).. came over for hari raye..
hafidz very cute.. ahahah.. so then.. like have been hanging out wit danial, nisa, cara, yan ling, samirah, cara n wen ling...
well.. ahahah... last paper on tuesday!!! cant wait... hmm.. gonna party all day long.. as if there aint no tmr..
so well.. life's been rockin.. hah.. actually always been.. n the macdonalds guy is indian eurasian!! name ... jeremy steven... the fren ian reminds me of sean andrews...
prom's comin... then like...
hmm dat fuckin bitch!!! fuck off la... u aint cool for nuts... u fuckin dumb freak.. fuck u!! yucks.. i mean .. fuck off!!!! really... yucks to the core!! eww... really disgust fills me whenever i think... eewww.. i guess i m soo pissed coz u crossed ur damn fuckin line, bitch...
u noe i'd probably be cool with it if u stayed out.. but well... u din.. so like.. u noe... have fun while u can.. coz if u piss me off in front of me ...........
ahahah...saw my tamil teacher dat day... ahahah... primary school teacher.. ahah.. it was one hell of a freaky (x a hundred) moment... arfgh!!! well i miss her..
so savrina hope u get everythin i m saying.. so then darlin... u noe... i wanna wanna.. so wanna... hai.. see u.. but well.. i dunt wanna say further, dunt want u to feel sad...

12:42 AM

Friday, November 11, 2005 »

_____NisA______

well hmm.. well... hmm...

9:02 AM

mY besTies.....
okay so like .. so far... in s'pore.. there is like nisa.. always there... n my darling savrina in california.. oh man, she is like having so much fun there.. damn!!! gosh i love themm.. savrina i love u .. nisa i love u..
______ SavRiNa______
thanks for bein there... savrina.. u may not be here but like u always in my mind.. no kiddin.. n most importantly in my hEART!!!!!....well... i guess wanted to say.. i have had soo many many frenz.. in my whole entire life.. n i realise i always had a problem in classiflying them into grps like close frenz or best frenz.. n stuff .. however.. savrina made me realise many things... its dat i actually only had one true best fren that lasted thru my days in brd (excluding may, best fren a while)... i regret so many things.. like not spending times.. i guess we drifted in sec3.. more to it.. shall elaborate another time.. howver.. someother ppl took my place.. there was mabel, fala, huiqi.. i love u savrina.. noone has eva been there so much for me n supported me thru out all the sports days.. n all the things i participated... u mean alot.. its juz hurts a lil to know u aint here rite now to be wit me during the crucial part of my life like when soo many more mature things are happening...
well u were seriously there to help me from all my dumb boyfrenz.. which made life better for me.. however evasince u left i have been a victim of dumb relationships.. n screwing up my life.. u see its evident that the saying ... u only noe the worth water when the well runs dry ( well the saying is sumthin like this la.. hope u get what i'm sayin) ahah.. so then.. like its so true coz now... only after u have gone .. i realise wad a bad fren i was.. n that u were always tehre.. n i never did feel lonely during hard times... i miss u so dearly...

8:46 AM

3:55 AM

all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself
(Truth is) I never got over you
when it’s all said and done
Guess I’m still I love with you
I never should have let you go
(Truth is) and it’s killing me cause, now I know
(Truth is) and when it’s all said and done
Guess I’m still I love with you
We reminisce on the way things used to be
Shared a couple laughs, shared some memories
Talked about the things that changed
Some for good and some for bad

3:34 AM

- -case of the ex, myA-

Now what is that she wants
Tell me what is that she needs
Didnt shared no mutual friends
What cha gonna do when you cant say no
And her feelings start to show .. boy I really need to know
And how you gonna act, how you gonna handle that
What cha gonna do when she wants you back
There’s no need to reminisce bout the past
Obviously cause that s***...did not last
I know how a woman will try to game you
So dont get caught up because, baby, you will lose
I seen her photo, she aint even all that
So if you want her back, you can take her back
Cause game recognize game, I could do the same thing
Get it right, change or take back this ring

3:05 AM