this blog is possibly one of the only avenues i have to express myself.
eversince, my laptop died its made it so much harder so me to blog,
and i havent been doing so.
as of such, i havent been as saint.

i do hope to continue blogging each day.
and i have said this so many times already, that my words do not hold water anymore.
so i am just going to show it through actions.

the past few chapters(months) in my life have not been updated in this blog.
and will try to summarize it soon.
alot of interesting events have occured in my life.
and the fact that till now, my blog is opened to invited guests,
who definitely do not come by to read this anymore,
i will once again open my blog up for everyone to read.
but the thing is, i dont think anyone will know that i have started to blog again.
hahha.

HOWEVER, i do have some reservations as to opening up my blog for public veiwing again.
but i guess. i will do so and when i get uncomfortable yet again, i will stop.
hahahhaha.
and if this blog understood my words and my feelings, i'd like to say

"dearest blog,
i have missed you so much. sorry for neglecting you):
thank you for sharing the chapters in my life with me so far, and holding all my memories together.

i love you, truly.
shazawani begum(: "

the funny thing is.
i havent only neglected this blog,
but myself also.
i havent been giving myself the time & space that i need for myself, alone.
as of such, i have lost the essence of shaza):

(hahah,the usage of my words are like so dramatically disgsuting)