to the ong jin wen.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
and to suha
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

spent the earlier part of the day with narasimma baldevan.
and then rushed all the way to CLEMENTI
for dinner with aunty chitra uncle logan and suha.

thank god karthik wasnt there.
i know i sound super cynical when i say that,
but i feeel much better without with him there.

well, anyway. dinner was good. i came home super late):
and oh yes, the most awkward part of the day,
suha had to ask her dad this question infront of me!!!
"why out of all karthik's girlfriends/ex girlfriends, you only like shaza?"

roar!!! so damn awkward to be there at that time.
and he replied"i have my reasons".

and i know many of my friends find it weird and inappropriate
for me to be still going out with them and all.
and yes, its true.
but i cant turn them down.and also cause i just dont want to.
and they are veyr lovely people.seriously.

and like with karthik having a new girlfriend now,
(not the first after me, ahah. prob the ten thousandth)
and me coming over to see his parents.
it may seeem weird to some third person.
and it is.
but like, there's more to it.
really. and sometimes i dont see a point in
justifying my actions.
hwever i know that, i might be digging my own grave,
esp if things are brought to a different level, which i wont talk abt here.

but there are alot of otehr thigns most of you dont know
and wil prob never know, until you're n this same situation.
and also because, i dont tell you al everythign that happens.

wel, i made this blog private.
and like, only invited readers are able to read it.
and this is because, those that have beeen invited,
are those i know will never judge my posts or me.

but haha. the real truth is, it was actualy a mistake.
and then only i thought of it just being private.

and so anyway, ahsan re-sent me an email which was dated oct 19 2003.
and oh my god.
i dont think i have read it before.
but it was a very nice email.

you know, i hate to say it. and like i dont want to seeem
all self-absorbed or anything.
but sometimes, i feel very lucky.
and i really love how things are.
and i know that even through the darkest time,
i'll will definitely get out of it fine.
and i love everyone around me so very much.

and though like, some other parts of me or my life
(wont go into details. but those who are close to me prob alreayd know)
arent perfect or normal, i'm lucky it has been made up with
other much happier, sweeter, lovlier stuff.
and its like that for everyone tooo(:

and besides, we all know this by now,
it is never to let any set backs hold you back.
and its always about facing them and getting out of it.
and everything wil be fine in the end,
if it doesnt, it isnt the end YET(:

oh roar, this post sounds awfully emotional like.
and well, now u know why this blog was made private.
so that i wont have any critics from people i hardly know.