And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

so there are 2 parties tonight.
i dont feel like going for any party tonight
emotionally-blackmailed into attending both):


tonight, i honestly dont feel like doing anything much.
i'd like to sit somewhere, with gd music with a stranger.
hahah only cause i dont feel like talking much.

to add on, i dont see/feel that those ard me would understand this.
i dont expect them too either(:

hahha. as emo as my entries may depict me,
i am actually totally fine(:

& so if i dont go for one, e parents will be unhappy,
and if i dont go for another one, he will be unhappy.

but if i go any of it, i will be unhappy.
i dont like e idea of faking my smiles.

& if i go there, i know i'd make things worst.
not as if, the last time when i forced myself to come for your b'day,
i made things so awkward.
hence jeopardising friendships.
coming tonight will definitely add on to it.
this time it prob wont be your friends anymore, but your family.
you'll prob never understand.
and i could go to make you happy.
but in e end, you wont be.

if i am feeling better i'd go.
tonight feels more of laid back, chill out night.